The Greatest Freakout Ever (transcript)

I'LL EAT YOUR BABIES' BOYS!!! GET OUTTA MY ROME!!!
(flops around on the bed like a fish while making random screaming horse noises)
I CAN'T ROT IN THE MOAT! I WANNA RUN AWAY!
(buries himself in his blankets and starts writhing around on the bed)
I WANNA RUN A WANE NEVER COME BACK!!!
UGH...I WANNA POOP AND NEVER COME BACK!!!
I SWEAR...YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAINNN. (strips himself down to his underwear and throws his blankets across the room)
GUH!!! (heavy breathing; goes into closet then storms back out into the room)
RAWR YOURBANGINGMYDICK!!! NOT THE GAYS!!! (psychopathic screaming and writhing on the floor)
(slams fists on bed) (grabs remote and tries to shove it up his rectum) YEAHHH!!! OW!!! (crawling on the floor, crying and coughing in agony)
(grabs a shoe out of the closet) IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?!? (hits himself with shoe three times)
I RELATE MY LIFE! I HATE MY LIIIFE!!! (Godzilla scream) (sits on side of bed and bludgeons himself in the face using his shoe)
(breaks down into a spastic seizure on top of his bed)
IT'S WHAT!!! I STARTED!!! WAYIAEMILUHR!!! (Dad: DUDE, SHUT UP!!!)
(suddenly stops raging, gets up off the bed, thinks for a few seconds, then punches the bed and exits the room)
(Jack: DID YOU FRICKIN' SEE THAT?!)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YersIy…